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Impatience isn’t the problem. The problem is what happens when it reaches the wheel before awareness does — you start painting the hallway, then the skirting boards, then wonder why the evening’s gone and nothing important got done. Here’s how to let impatience wake you up without letting it run you.
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One of the most useful things to understand when thinking about reacting vs responding, is The Decision Maker steering wheel always has one of your forces controlling it. In every moment something is driving your behaviour. The question is simply which force is sitting in that seat. Sometimes it’s The Wise. When that happens, decisions…
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I’ve never seen either side of me as a problem. It’s just for a long time I didn’t understand them, and perhaps not fully value my different feelings. I’ve been told I’m ‘too nice’ at times, but also too harsh or distant. Knowing what I do now about myself, I can understand that view when…
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There is always another finish line. Perfectionism keeps us pushing, and over time that push can lead to burnout. I tell myself that once I submit the proposal, sort the house, complete the training block or have the difficult conversation, I’ll finally relax. That’s the finish line illusion at work. Perfectionism convinces me that calm…
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The space reflex is the instinct to fill unstructured time with activity, and knowingly or not, avoid emotional exposure. It can be difficult to catch, because we’re busy and life doesn’t typically have much natural space to “just be”. It’s true that productivity and progress can be a form of happiness. But so can peace.…
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There’s every chance you will live with your difficulties at some level forever – that doesn’t mean they will be prominent all the time. Everyone has ‘issues’, the list of potential ones is long. In my experience we can get really good at recognising poor brain patterns, dysfunctional behaviours and negative feelings. Then become experts…
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What you with it does, because none of us know how much time we actually have. We can all consider how we spend our time and what feels best. Some of us choose the mindset that the world happens to us, others believe we get to drive. I think it’s a balance. Some things present…
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Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for an action you’ve taken, a decision you’ve made, or inaction that conflicts with your moral standards or simply goes against what you think you should have done. Guilt isn’t limited to moral failings; it can arise in everyday decisions Sometimes, guilt stems from societal pressures or…
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Oversharing is a thing. But so is suppressing your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps we fear boring someone, being judged or facing disagreement. But sharing what you really think, what’s really on your mind leads to good things. Might someone see it differently? Hopefully! Because what they see might give you a light bulb moment or…
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Sad, angry, happy, scared, ok or not ok – it’s ok. Recognise it. Feel it. Study it. Perhaps the feeling is useful in taking an action, maybe it helps you learn something about yourself, or it could be based on a misunderstanding. Regardless, I’ve seen personally that when I take action it leads to something…
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For me, happiness is made up from the following ingredients: relationships with loved ones, personal growth, helping others in their journey, living, exploring and enjoy what the world has to offer. We all get to choose our own recipe, but the ingredients list is the same…
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It’s easy to get caught up in the constant of tasks, responsibilities, and distractions. However, engaging in the practice of self-reflection can be a transformative and invaluable tool on our journey of personal growth and self-discovery.
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Patience is one of the most difficult things to master, but vital to long term, meaningful success. I like to use the sand jar analogy…
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What do you think will happen if you hang out with expert chefs, fast runners or people who laugh a lot?
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Rushing feels productive in the moment, but it often creates mistakes, resistance, rework, and movement in the wrong direction. The urgency trap is what happens when speed gets ahead of clear thinking.