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One of the most useful things to understand when thinking about reacting vs responding, is The Decision Maker steering wheel always has one of your forces controlling it. In every moment something is driving your behaviour. The question is simply which force is sitting in that seat. Sometimes it’s The Wise. When that happens, decisions…
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Learning how to think before you speak and take action changes the quality of your conversations, your relationships and your reputation. Most tension doesn’t begin with bad intent, it begins with speed. And many of us struggle to slow our mind to firstly listen and secondly be more considered in what we say and do.…
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Every decision you make is influenced by emotion. That makes emotional intelligence vital to living the life you want. Not just obvious feelings like anger or excitement. Even choices that feel logical are shaped by what’s happening internally and by the emotional atmosphere around you. Other people’s frustration, urgency or anxiety can affect your state.…
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I’ve never seen either side of me as a problem. It’s just for a long time I didn’t understand them, and perhaps not fully value my different feelings. I’ve been told I’m ‘too nice’ at times, but also too harsh or distant. Knowing what I do now about myself, I can understand that view when…
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Overwhelm in day to day life usually builds quietly, often from an accumulation of simple things. There’s too much to do, and not enough space or capacity to do it. It shows up physically before it shows up dramatically. A tight chest. Shallow breathing. Holding your breath while you complete a small task. A mind…
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There’s every chance you will live with your difficulties at some level forever – that doesn’t mean they will be prominent all the time. Everyone has ‘issues’, the list of potential ones is long. In my experience we can get really good at recognising poor brain patterns, dysfunctional behaviours and negative feelings. Then become experts…
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Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for an action you’ve taken, a decision you’ve made, or inaction that conflicts with your moral standards or simply goes against what you think you should have done. Guilt isn’t limited to moral failings; it can arise in everyday decisions Sometimes, guilt stems from societal pressures or…
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When you think of something, it creates a feeling. Action can then follow, or indeed thoughts plus associated actions further strengthen feelings. Is it as simple as changing your thought if you don’t like the feeling? I’ve found this to be true. Not easy, but true. Especially if you do it repetitively. It could just…
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Sad, angry, happy, scared, ok or not ok – it’s ok. Recognise it. Feel it. Study it. Perhaps the feeling is useful in taking an action, maybe it helps you learn something about yourself, or it could be based on a misunderstanding. Regardless, I’ve seen personally that when I take action it leads to something…
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Our mindset impacts how we feel and how we behave. We can have many mindsets. And even build and trigger our own. This is useful as part of our self-mastery journey to help us achieve our goals and behave in-line with our principles.
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I think you can have a rational view that all things considered you are ‘happy’. That can be a broad term that covers a number of things like satisfaction, contentment and optimism. It’s also possible that at the same time your mood says otherwise. You might feel flat at times. That happens to us all.
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Another great quote from smarter people than me. I remember reading this in my early 20’s and it stuck with me.
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It’s easy to get caught up in the constant of tasks, responsibilities, and distractions. However, engaging in the practice of self-reflection can be a transformative and invaluable tool on our journey of personal growth and self-discovery.