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Most of us recognise the moment we get snappy. You hear a sharpness in your voice as you respond to something small. The tone comes out more impatient than you intended and within seconds you realise you didn’t want to say it like that. Often the reaction has already happened before awareness arrives. A few…
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What is emotional contagion? Emotional contagion is the tendency for emotions to spread between people. Without realising it, we often absorb the emotional tone of the environments we enter. A tense meeting can leave you feeling tight and guarded. A relaxed conversation with friends can lift your mood before you’ve even noticed why. This happens…
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One of the most useful things to understand when thinking about reacting vs responding, is The Decision Maker steering wheel always has one of your forces controlling it. In every moment something is driving your behaviour. The question is simply which force is sitting in that seat. Sometimes it’s The Wise. When that happens, decisions…
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Putting yourself first can feel uncomfortable for some people. For others, it’s instinctive. Some lean too far toward themselves, prioritising their own motives at the expense of everyone else. Deliberate living requires balance. It means holding your needs alongside the needs of the people you care about, rather than consistently elevating one over the other.…
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When your partner feels off, quiet or slightly distant, it can be surprisingly hard to ignore. If you’ve ever wondered “why my partner’s mood affects me”, it’s often that nothing obvious has happened, but something feels different and that change can create anxiety quickly. You can find yourself wondering what’s wrong, what’s changed or whether…
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I used to keep anger in my shadow. Not only did I hide it from others, but I didn’t understand why I needed it. Most of us are taught as a kid to suppress rage. It’s too difficult for our parents to deal with, it’s anti-social an unprofessional. I buy into that if it’s left…
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When you think of something, it creates a feeling. Action can then follow, or indeed thoughts plus associated actions further strengthen feelings. Is it as simple as changing your thought if you don’t like the feeling? I’ve found this to be true. Not easy, but true. Especially if you do it repetitively. It could just…
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Sad, angry, happy, scared, ok or not ok – it’s ok. Recognise it. Feel it. Study it. Perhaps the feeling is useful in taking an action, maybe it helps you learn something about yourself, or it could be based on a misunderstanding. Regardless, I’ve seen personally that when I take action it leads to something…
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Not because you’ll be liked more, but because you’ll attract people who you’re more compatible with. It’s only fair on you and those who may fall in love with you. For example, if you pretend to be into socializing more than you are, and you meet someone in the process that really is more on…
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Out of the seven habits of highly effective people, by Stephen Covey, this is my favorite. Understanding first creates stronger relationships because people feel heard; means there is less chance of making a mistake by suggest the wrong solution; helps reduce conflict by disarming emotional situations; and from a practical point of view, makes conversations…
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There are pros and cons to high EQ. The ability to self-regulate by understanding what you’re feeling and manage it well, is a huge strength in both work and life. When that sits alongside empathy and strong motivation, it can make someone especially steady and valuable to be around. They’re more able to keep going…
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Emotional intelligence (EI), often called emotional quotient (EQ), is the ability to recognise, understand and manage your own emotions while also recognising and responding effectively to the emotions of others. It involves emotional awareness, self-regulation, empathy and the ability to navigate relationships constructively. This concept became widely known through the work of psychologist Daniel Goleman,…
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For me, happiness is made up from the following ingredients: relationships with loved ones, personal growth, helping others in their journey, living, exploring and enjoy what the world has to offer. We all get to choose our own recipe, but the ingredients list is the same…
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I believe the meaning of life is life itself. By that I mean we’re here to continue the human story. To live, to grow, to experience the world and, ultimately, to help life continue beyond us. If that’s true, then the real question becomes how we choose to live the life we have. In that…
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Take a moment to think about how you feel when someone talks over you, rushes you along or simply doesn’t listen to what you’ve said. Conversely, consider the feeling of being understood…
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What do you think will happen if you hang out with expert chefs, fast runners or people who laugh a lot?