Not because you’ll be liked more, but because you’ll attract people who you’re more compatible with.

It’s only fair on you and those who may fall in love with you.

For example, if you pretend to be into socializing more than you are, and you meet someone in the process that really is more on the extrovert side, then you could face difficulty down the line when you mature into your own skin (which may be that you would rather spend time doing other things). The risk is you drift apart as you follow what makes you happy and resentment can build up too.

It’s not to say you couldn’t make the relationship work, as love is deeper than one or two core things in common. But it’ll take both of you to accept the reality and work with it.

It’s very natural to be a chameleon, and sometimes it’s a useful skill – you’ll have heard the phrase ‘fake it until you make it’. But be careful you don’t change into something, in order to attract someone/thing, that you can’t then sustain.


Written by Alex. I write about responding more deliberately, mostly drawing on what I’ve learned getting it wrong.


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