I used to keep anger in my shadow. Not only did I hide it from others, but I didn’t understand why I needed it.

Most of us are taught as a kid to suppress rage. It’s too difficult for our parents to deal with, it’s anti-social an unprofessional. I buy into that if it’s left to roam free in public.

However, I think a higher level of maturity allows us to notice when we’re angry and let it out in a safe space.

Here’s why I do that:

  • Self-respect: It makes me more whole and increases my integrity when I recognise all parts of me
  • The anger is trying to tell me something
  • It feels good (especially if it’s righteous anger!)
  • It limits shadow behavior like being passive aggressive
  • I’ve found it ‘clears’ my old mental pathways to allow for new ones to come through

I still like to be in control of my emotions and I can’t think of many scenarios where full blown anger directed at someone is the right behavior, so I’ll let it out through writing or whilst out on a run. I’ll even sometimes record it and share it with someone I trust to give me some perspective and help me move forward.


Written by Alex. I write about responding more deliberately, mostly drawing on what I’ve learned getting it wrong.


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