Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for an action you’ve taken, a decision you’ve made, or inaction that conflicts with your moral standards or simply goes against what you think you should have done.

Guilt isn’t limited to moral failings; it can arise in everyday decisions

Sometimes, guilt stems from societal pressures or unrealistic expectations rather than genuine moral conflicts…I often feel guilty, to a greater or lesser extent.

Sometimes it’s because I’ve:

• Eaten something I think I shouldn’t have
• Chosen to go for a run when I think I should have spent that time with my family
• Spent money on myself
• Decided to write this blog post instead of responding to that work email
• Sat down when I perhaps should have done the washing up!

Guilt plays a valuable role in our lives, even if it’s often misplaced

Here are some benefits of guilt:

• Moral Compass: Guides us to distinguish right from wrong and encourages corrective actions or apologies when necessary.
• Social Accountability and Prevention: Reinforces societal norms, fosters empathy, and deters harmful behaviors by promoting understanding, sensitivity, and anticipation of emotional consequences.
• Personal Growth: Helps regulate emotions, reflect on mistakes, and motivates self-improvement and alignment with personal values.

Guilty or not guilty…you get to decide

The key is having a healthy benchmark on when to feel guilt – here’s how…

It’s okay to put yourself first — more than that, it’s actually really important. You can choose when that is and why you’re doing it. If you want to leave the washing up until tomorrow, that’s okay. If a 30-minute run keeps you balanced, great.

If you notice a feeling of guilt:

• Ask yourself if it’s based on your values or external expectations.
• Reflect on whether your action truly warrants this feeling: “Does my action really justify this guilt?”

If the guilt is misplaced, work on re-calibrating your benchmark to a healthier level. One method is to use extreme examples as a reference for what should truly cause guilt—this will help you see that your current guilt is likely disproportionate to your action.