Relationships
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My loved ones, therapist, and even that discomfort in my gut have all told me the same thing—I lack balance in where I direct my focus and should put myself first more. But I’ve struggled with this, especially in my most important relationships and work. The very idea feels like it contradicts my core beliefs
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This was a subconscious belief I had, which ultimately fed my insecurities of being abandoned. It’s an unhealthy view because it’s not real life. My parents never fell out – or at least not that I ever saw. They prioritised each other and were constantly talking. They also believe in until death do us part.
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I like to face my feelings. Run at them head on until I resolve them. I find thinking, writing and talking are best. Researching too. I guess it depends on the feeling and how well I understand it. This approach isn’t the only way of course. Some people need space from everything and everyone. It’s
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I used to keep anger in my shadow. Not only did I hide it from others, but I didn’t understand why I needed it.
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When trauma happens and you find yourself in hell, hold onto the fact that we are designed to find meaning.
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Another piece of gold that my sister helped me see. When you think of something, it creates a feeling. Action can then follow, or indeed thoughts plus associated actions further strengthen feelings.
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Sad, angry, happy, scared, ok or not ok – it’s ok. Recognise it. Feel it. Study it.
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Not because you’ll be liked more, but because you’ll attract people who you’re more compatible with. It’s only fair on you and those who may fall in love with you.
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This is one from Arnold Schwarzenegger and it’s a good one. Help around the house, contribute to conversations, say yes to the difficult, be a positive presence.
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I believe that being selfish when everyone benefits is wise thinking. However we do need to be careful in our relationships that we don’t always put ourselves first.
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It’s ok to be down from time to time, but prolonged gloom makes it difficult for you and your loved ones.
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The foundation of self-mastery is being in control of your emotions and physical state as you go through your day.
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Small talk fosters connections by creating a comfortable social environment. It establishes rapport, uncovers common ground, and helps people feel at ease.
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Out of the seven habits of highly effective people, by Stephen Covey, this is my favorite. Understanding first creates stronger relationships because people feel heard; means there is less chance of making a mistake by suggest the wrong solution; helps reduce conflict by disarming emotional situations; and from a practical point of view, makes conversations…
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The happiness equation is complicated at times. Usually because of our emotions. Let’s use work as an example. Say you feel like you’ve given all you want to for a company…
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If you suspect something might be about to ‘blow’ in one of your relationships, at work or any other area of life. Don’t bury your head in the sand…face it.
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It’s going to happen. It could be a feeling of stress, being overwhelmed or like you literally have no more brain capacity.
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This is a controversial post. A provocative thought about some of our social media behavior. But there is a deeper message behind it.
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The ability to self-regulate by controlling your feelings, having empathy and high levels of motivation is a huge strength when working and living with others.
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Emotional intelligence (EI), or emotional quotient (EQ), is your ability to recognise, understand, manage, and effectively use your emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
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Would I rather have not been through trauma. At the time yes, and at times later in life also yes. But has it given me benefit? Definitely.
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We know from experience that trust is the primary ingredient of strong relationships, long standing careers and even what we think of ourselves.
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You might have the time, but not the mental capacity or physical energy to do something meaningful. Equally, it could be the other way around…
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You can do more than one thing at once. Like walking and writing this post, or brushing your teeth in the shower. However you can’t concentrate on two things at the same time.
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I’m a better dad, husband and colleague when I exercise. So although it uses time that I can’t get back (which others might argue could be better spent), for me and those I’m with, it’s a good investment.
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For me, happiness is made up from the following ingredients: relationships with loved ones, personal growth, helping others in their journey, living, exploring and enjoy what the world has to offer. We all get to choose our own recipe, but the ingredients list is the same…
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I believe the meaning of life, is life itself. By that I mean we’re here to continue evolving the human race and to preserve life. With that in mind, the one thing we should all put a bit more focus into is the health of our planet. Because without it, happiness is irrelevant.
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Take a moment to think about how you feel when someone talks over you, rushes you along or simply doesn’t listen to what you’ve said. Conversely, consider the feeling of being understood…
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What do you think will happen if you hang out with expert chefs, fast runners or people who laugh a lot?
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If success in one area of your life takes you away from the more meaningful ones. Maybe your job means time away from your family or is impacting your health.
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Unloading the dishwasher, buying them that little gift, letting them be themself. That’s love. Love the feeling stems from that. Lust is different…and good to keep alive too.
Actfullness 