Personal favorites
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My loved ones, therapist, and even that discomfort in my gut have all told me the same thing—I lack balance in where I direct my focus and should put myself first more. But I’ve struggled with this, especially in my most important relationships and work. The very idea feels like it contradicts my core beliefs
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This was a subconscious belief I had, which ultimately fed my insecurities of being abandoned. It’s an unhealthy view because it’s not real life. My parents never fell out – or at least not that I ever saw. They prioritised each other and were constantly talking. They also believe in until death do us part.
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This is one of the most grounding questions I can ask myself when I feel insecure, uncertain or overwhelmed.
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Imagine someone on a tightrope – it might look precarious, unstable even. But there is great personal stability through balance. One of my highest values in life is a stable environment for me and my family. My drive for this was born from not having it as a child.
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Another piece of gold that my sister helped me see. When you think of something, it creates a feeling. Action can then follow, or indeed thoughts plus associated actions further strengthen feelings.
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Sad, angry, happy, scared, ok or not ok – it’s ok. Recognise it. Feel it. Study it.
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There is happiness in an upward trajectory, not just in moving forward or your current position in any given part of your life.
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Emotional and physical regulation are two of the cornerstones of self-mastery and daily balance. Think of the people you consider to be wise and in control…even if you can’t ’see’ their physical equilibrium, you’ll recognise how well balanced their emotions are.
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Out of the seven habits of highly effective people, by Stephen Covey, this is my favorite. Understanding first creates stronger relationships because people feel heard; means there is less chance of making a mistake by suggest the wrong solution; helps reduce conflict by disarming emotional situations; and from a practical point of view, makes conversations…
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Talking is a great way to manage your emotions, get to a point of clarity and simply feel better. However, there are a couple of challenges I have observed…
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A farmer has a goose that lays golden eggs. He gets greedy wanting more and more eggs and becomes complacent in looking after the very thing that produces the gold. The goose dies and the eggs stop.
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The ability to self-regulate by controlling your feelings, having empathy and high levels of motivation is a huge strength when working and living with others.
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One of my principles is to never quit the important things in life – my parents used to give up a lot which I resolved never to do. Being trustworthy is also important to me, so if I say I’m going to do something, I need to stick to my word. Then there’s the completer…
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Emotional intelligence (EI), or emotional quotient (EQ), is your ability to recognise, understand, manage, and effectively use your emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
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For me, happiness is made up from the following ingredients: relationships with loved ones, personal growth, helping others in their journey, living, exploring and enjoy what the world has to offer. We all get to choose our own recipe, but the ingredients list is the same…
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Be clear on what matters to you – your personal values, your goals, the people you love. Then create a plan, educate yourself and do what you think is right.
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Unloading the dishwasher, buying them that little gift, letting them be themself. That’s love. Love the feeling stems from that. Lust is different…and good to keep alive too.
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We all make mistakes – that’s definitely ok. But when we already ‘know’, or continue to make the same mistakes…that’s when we need to pause and think about how to better apply our experience.
Actfullness 