Ten months on from my life changing forever, I find myself overwhelmed and on the path to burn out.

December 31st 2023 – I’m at a 40th birthday party, kids by my side and I read my wife’s phone messages to find she is having an affair. My world shatters. A 20 year relationship is over.

I hold it together in the moment, but my life changes forever.

I get counselling, unwavering support from my sister and take time off work to stabilise. I make sure my kids environment is solid and they are safe.

Throughout the year I get stronger, happier as I recover and move forward from my trauma. I make a friend who later turns out to be the most incredible person for me. She changes my life again – but for the absolute better.

I give everything I have to keep my world going for those I love. A world created by two people, now run by me.

It’s too much. But I stay organised, do one thing at a time. I keep going. Until late October when the brain fog gets bad, I struggle to respond to messages, I forget things, I get headaches and strange physical injuries. I’m over eating, struggling to work and my brain keeps stopping. Then one Saturday, I finally accept I can’t maintain this.

I’m happy, in love and loved. I’m positive about today and tomorrow, but I’m utterly mentally exhausted.

So I take action and I stop. I tell my sister and partner. I let work know I need to recover, reduce the symptoms and make space to rethink. Either change my world, or get support to maintain what it is today. Then go again.

As I write this I’m still in the recovery stage – end of day 1 in fact. I get tiny moments of brain capacity, but my headache is still here and my brain is heavy. I feel optimistic, I just don’t have the mental power yet to work out what to change – I am patient as I know that will come.