Imagine someone on a tightrope – it might look precarious, unstable even. But there is great personal stability in balance.

One of my highest values in life is a stable environment for me and my family. My drive for this was born from not having it as a child.

Until recently, this drive was invisible to me. But I prioritized anything that kept me and those in ‘on my bus’ healthy, emotionally solid and safe. It means I go to bed at a reasonable time, eat nutritious food, exercise, keep the house in order, work, be around for my family – anything that I consider a ‘vital organ’ to stability.

So things like socializing are more like a limb to me, important but I can live without it/much of it. So most of the time I didn’t prioritize it as I was spending my time and energy on the vital organs.

There have been consequences to this however, my wife for example highly values social time, and the way I lived meant she didn’t feel important. Even though I was holding a stable environment for her (which was an indirect way of showing her love), it wasn’t enough for what she needed. As a result, my stable environment got destroyed, until I rebuilt it.

Equally, there is the risk of my children growing up not open to relying on others as I made sure I was always there when they needed. There have been times when I have over-rotated on this, and that’s where balance comes in. Being there for your kids but not creating a co-dependency.

So my lesson is that balance, creates a more stable environment. The world of engineering has good examples of this – think of buildings in high earthquake locations. They are designed to move with the energy, and in doing so stay upright.