One of my principles is to never quit the important things in life – my parents used to give up a lot which I resolved never to do. Being trustworthy is also important to me, so if I say I’m going to do something, I need to stick to my word. Then there’s the completer finisher in me and in some scenarios the loyalty angle…

The conflict can then become when the thing I’m committed to changes in how meaningful it is; the outcome is no longer what I want; I don’t believe the result is possible anymore; or I feel like I’ve got what I was looking for without having ‘finished’ the mission.

The war between my principles and happiness is when I then feel trapped…

It’s at this point it’s worth reframing what ‘quitting’ means. Because it’s ok to change your mind. This is especially true if you’re talking about long term commitments such as jobs or athletic goals because by their nature things change over time. Negative relationships would come into this too, although there are other principles that come into play that you need to consider.

So when is it ok to change your mind?

If you’re unhappy. You might put a timeline on it because we know feelings come and go, plus time to self-reflect gives you space to find clarity. For example, you might say ‘if I wake up 30 days in a row and broadly feel the same, then I need to change things’.

The resilience not to give up has helped me through so many situations and I’m grateful for the strength it gives me. However, I’ve had two clear scenarios in my life where I lacked the wisdom to reframe quitting. One is trying to get my fastest marathon time. The other was staying in a company a bit too long.