Would I rather not have been through trauma. At the time yes, and at times later in life also yes. But has it given me benefit? Definitely.

Clearly there is a lot of pain in the world, and I’ve only experienced some of it. Mostly around death and poorly functioning people. But every time has ended up being a useful experience.

Having narcissistic parents who struggled to keep themselves afloat, let alone two children definitely left me with issues. Most of which I’ve worked through. Some still linger. But I’m grateful for what I gained – namely drive, self-assurance that ‘I can’ and wisdom on how not to act.

Leaders who’ve used fear, doubt and acts of control helped me spot those I will never work for, how to keep a clear head under pressure and that ultimately, it just doesn’t matter.

To those I’ve lost, it’s the reminder to live, love and go down dancing.

So yes, it sucks at the time, but that time does pass. Use self-reflection to work through it and as part of that say ‘thank you for the trauma’.