What’s your expectation of happiness?

I like to consider happiness as a broader set of feelings. Including; satisfaction, contentment, love, fulfilment and peace. I look at it this way because I’ve yet to live with the constant feeling of ‘happiness’.

In my experience feelings come and go, have a scale of intensity and are impacted by a range of variables such as the activity you’re doing, those around you, the weather and your blood sugar levels.

Setting this expectation is important, because not achieving it can have the opposite effect on what you’re trying to accomplish.

So is it realistic to aim for happiness? I say yes. I think there is an element of ‘choice’ in being happy.

What makes us happy?

We are alive for a fraction of time relative to the age of planet earth. But I believe that not only should we enjoy life for ‘today’, but that we have a responsibility to future generations to sustain our world.

We need to balance the here and now, without taking more than we need.

So for me, happiness is made up from the following ingredients:

• Relationships with loved ones
• Personal growth
• Helping others in their journey
• Living, exploring and enjoying what the world has to offer
• Character preferences e.g. sleep, recharging on your own
• A sense of purpose

The blend differs for each of us. Some need more personal growth, others get more from helping their neighbor.

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So we all get to choose our own recipe, but the ingredients list is the same.

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It’s only natural that we try adding other elements, perhaps as an experiment or because we haven’t learnt what works for us yet. For example: money, fame, job titles, our own appearance. I’ve found kicks of joy in some of these, but they haven’t been as deep. I’ve also found at times they come with a consequence that takes away good feelings, rather than adds them.

So I stick to the tried and true – albeit with some experimenting on the quantities of each ingredient…

Here’s an example of a day that makes me feel good:

• Exercise
• Self-reflection
• Something that is productive and gives me a sense of progress
• Time with my loved ones – this could be an activity or relaxing
• Good sleep
• Quality food

Over the course of a longer period of time, I also need:

• Endurance events
• Holidays and seeing the world
• To learn

It’s worth considering that the activity itself contributes to the feeling. For example spending time with my loved ones could be playing a board game where we have a laugh, or going for a walk in the mountains in bad weather where everyone is miserable! Another example could be personal growth that comes from a negative, dark scenario instead of something like self-reflection.